I had every intention for this to be an all happy post.....

Finally a little bit of a happier post.... update..

AHHHHH MY SISTER IS ENGAGED! I am so happy for her!! Her and her boyfriend have been dating for about 6 years and have been living together for about 5 years.  He is already like a brother to me and he is so good to my sister and would do anything for her.

They both came up last weekend 3 weekends ago and he asked my Dad first and showed him the ring.  Then he showed me and my Mom.  I was so nervous that Kait was gonna know something was up but she had no clue.  It wasn't until a whole week later on Friday that he asked her.

 They have 'their' spot in New Jersey were they carved their name in a tree and they take their dog there to play in a field.  He asked if she wanted to go there to play with Rylee their black lab and to maybe catch the sunset.  She told me she thought it was a little unusual but they go there a lot anyways so she didn't think much of it.  They were playing catch with Ry then all of a sudden he says 'hey did you see the new dog tag I got Rylee?  Go look at it'  She did and one said read 'I love you' and the other side said 'Say Yes'  she looked at him and was like 'HUH?'  Then when she turned around he was on one knee.  SOOOO CUTE!!  I am so happy for them!!

( I found these cute mugs and HAD to get them for my sis and Jeff because they were too perfect)

Now I defiantly have to get stricter and focused with getting healthy and losing weight.  I WILL be the size I want to be for her wedding.. I WILL BE! There are NO if ands or buts about that.  That means losing around 20 lbs.  I neeed to do it for me.  I am just hoping I can make it to the gym for a decent amount of hours a week.  Its so difficult when my dad is sick because I just get worried and want to stay home with him.

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Something else I am extremely happy and excited about is the 50 Shades of Grey trailer!! Holy mackerel I can not wait!  That series is probably the best books I have ever read.  The story is just soo good.  If you haven't read it... DO IT!  It isn't just all about the kinky stuff, there is a really intense story above all of that.  However, I don't really agree with their choices in actors.  I think Christian should have been someone a little more mature looking with darker hair and a more chiseled looking face and Anastasia should have been someone with a more softer younger face.  It is hard to describe the perfect people that I am thinking of.  Nevertheless I am very excited for it to come out in February and I am sure when I see the movie I will adjust to the characters. AHHH

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Here comes the unhappy stuff...

Another happy thing is, my Dad is home from the hospital.  His counts will drop and then recover at home.  It will be a little bit stressful because this is the time that he can get any type of infection so we will have to keep an eye on his temperature.  He will also be visiting our local hospital 3 times a week to get his blood checked because he may need red blood or platelets during this time.  Fingers are crossed everything goes smoothly and this gets the cancer in remission.

Turns out that he had to go back to the hospital because he got another round of pneumonia....  He has been there all week and spent a few days in ICU.  Now he is in a room a step down from ICU where they can still monitor his heart rate, blood pressure, and respiratory rate a lot closer.  Somedays are better than others... He sleeps most of the time because he is weak from the pneumonia and from the 0.0 white blood cells.  He is on heavy antibiotics and we are praying that he pulls through and the infection clears up ASAP.....


This is why I have been MIA for a few weeks.  I wrote this a few weeks ago and it was supposed to be a happy post... ughhhh when will things lighten up for me?! I just seems like everything just gets worse.....

ok that's all for now...im finally posting this..

'Just keep swimming'

When It Rains...It Pours...

Well I am really trying not to make this blog all gloom and doom but for Pete sakes my life is just a crumbled mess right now.....Lets back track to 2 weeks ago where I left off when my Dad was going to see the doctor about his AML coming back...The news he got...wasn't good..

The doctor said there was either another Chemo treatment he could try which doesn't have high success results..or being able to stay home and get transfusions when he needed and a weekly shot to keep the leukemia side effects under control...but this would only give him about 4 months to live...

This news was devastating...  I did not go with my parents to this meeting with the doctor because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle what they were going to say...  They left the office with the doctors telling him that he could decide what he wanted to do.My dad is a fighter and chose to try the chemo but it wouldn't be ready until the following week.

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 That week was really tough for the first few days because we were all ready sad, lost, and not sure really what to do.  It helped that my Sister came home and my Aunt (Moms Sister) from Maryland came up to visit.  It was a nice distraction...

ON TOP of all this sadness...I find out that Wednesday that the company I work for is going to be closing its doors... AWESOME!  My Mom and Dad (when he wasn't sick) also work there too so this was another shock and hit to our family.  This is the source to the money my family makes and on top of all of our health insurance.  Thankfully they are not closing right away but will in a few months.   All I can think is, how can so many bad things be happening to us all at once?!  It is literally like we have a  dark cloud  above our heads.

 

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Jumping forward to this week. My Dad was admitted to the hospital Monday to start his 6 day chemo regimen.  I am trying everything I can do stay calm and strong for him.  The chemo will make his white cells bottom out to 0 so during this time he will be immune to getting any type of infection again.  Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly.  The doctor is letting him go home again after the chemo is done if there are no complications.  Tuesday we heard that the first dose of chemo killed 50% of the white cell blasts.  Which this is really good news!  Lets just hope that the chemo keeps doing its job to get this AML in remission so he can go get the bone marrow transplant.  The bad part is he got sick last night and his tummy has been upset but this is a common side effect from the chemo.

 

I visit him as much as possible and have been leaving work early to be with him longer.  I guess I got to use up my vacation and sick days before I lose them...  A lot of the time he is just falling in and out of sleep because its hard for him to sleep at night.  While he is resting I usually doodle in my sketch book.  Yesterday I grabbed the silver and gold markers I used for my DIY project and doodled on the front...

It looks kinda neat in the sunlight because the markers are metallic.

  

 

  Anyways, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  There HAS to be.

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 Welp, that's all for now....I am sorry these are all unhappy posts but it is what it is and this is my life right now...

 

 

If anyone is willing and able to help our family it would be greatly appreciated...since we will be also losing our jobs soon the money part is going to be even tougher than ever..

http://www.gofundme.com/joekuznik

 

'Just Keep Swimming'

 

 

Dads home!

Well Sunday was a good day because we took my Dad home from the hospital.  He was finished with chemo and his Doctor said he was able to be home while his counts drop.  They would rather have him at home instead of the hospital where it is crawling with germs.  There are a few down sides to this though....  His counts are going to drop which means he will grow weaker and be more susceptible to any type of infection.  His Doctor said that 8/10 patents come back with a fever.  We are crossing our fingers we will be lucky enough that we will make it through the stretch with no complications.  So far everything seems good...

 

On the other hand, yesterday I started to eat healthy again.  It is so hard to stay on track while on the go and in the hospital.  You would think that the hospital would have nice healthy meals...NOPE  In the cafeteria they have pizza, French fries, chicken tenders, onion rings, mac and cheese, tacos, sandwiches...and a small lousy salad bar.  I did try my hardest this time to not go for the worst things, so most of the time I would just get a half a sandwich or salad.  I'm glad I don't have to be there anymore..


Soooo speaking of healthy.... I just purchased a Nutribullet:

 

I think that it will help out a lot with breakfast and protein smoothies.  I used this the first time yesterday morning and it works really good!  I was skeptical about purchasing this because I heard bad reviews on the Magicbullet but the Nutribullet is much more sturdy with pretty good reviews. And not to mention $100!! I did wait until I had a 20% off coupon from Bed Bath and Beyond to make the purchase a bit more reasonable..  Previously, I had a Ninja blender but it was so big and was a pain to clean.  I love the fact that you make the smoothie right in the cup that you can take to go after its done.  It blends so much more smooth. I love it.

I am still experimenting with the ingredients but this one is;

A handful of Spinach

A little bit of Kale
1/2 a frozen Banana

3-4 frozen Strawberries

6 small frozen pineapple chunks

About 1/4 cup Almond Breeze (Original and unsweetened)

1/3 cup Cellucor Vanilla Whey

 

This blend was okay ...but it seemed to be missing something...so this morning I found a way to make it even better!!

 

I used the same recipe but used half the Almond milk and added Acai juice

 

and about 1/4 of a granny smith apple!

oh YUM! It gives it a more sour taste which is exactly what I think the first smoothie lacked.


Now I just have to find time for the gym...............
That's all for now
 

 

 

Cancer Sucks!

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I apologize in advance; this is not going to be a happy post....

2 Days ago my Dad was admitted again to Oncology.  His cancer has returned....

I guess I will start off with a little history..

He was diagnosed back in 1998 with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  I was honestly too young to remember what actually was going on.  I just remember visiting him in the hospital because he was sick, but since the hospital was about 2 hours away I didn’t go there often.  He received chemo twice because the lymphoma came back a few years later.  He then had a stem cell transplant and was cancer free for 14 years.

Jump forward to this past December... I remember coming down with a really bad cold that just wouldn't go away.  Soon after my mom and then dad both caught the flu too..coughing, stuffy nose, chills, common flu symptoms..  Finally, my mom and I got better but my Dads cold just kept lingering on, especially with a bad cough, chills, and fatigue...  He thought that he just needed more rest and hopefully he would get better..but it just didn't.  He grew so weak that he could hardly walk from one room to another.  I begged him to finally go to the Doctors and he did.  They took a blood sample and then told him it must just be allergies and sent him home with Allegra.  The next morning we got a call from the doctors to take him immediately to the ER because they noticed he had a very low red blood cell count and high white.  This means his body was on overload trying to fight off something.  After what it seemed like hours the ER doctor came in and said it looks like his cancer has returned.

He then got rushed down to another hospital with a cancer center 45 mins away..

It wasn't until the next morning that he called my mom from the hospital telling her the doctor said it was Leukemia (AML).  We rushed down there and they explained that it was most likely caused from the chemotherapy he’s received in the past..

How could this be?  How could curing one cancer lead to another?  It just isn't fair.

Fast forwarding a little... He received his 7 day chemo regimen and then came down with a bad case of pneumonia which landed him in the ICU for a little more than a week.  Seeing him in there with a breathing tube and on so much medicine he couldn’t even open his eyes horrified me.  At this point I was at my lowest point I have ever been in my whole life.  I remember when I would try and fall asleep at night I could feel darkness closing in around me.  I would literally wake up and feel so much pressure pushing on my head and shoulders I thought this was going to last forever…All I wanted was my Dad to come home and everything be back to normal..

After a very long 32 days we took him home…(I was at the hospital as much as I could every day except 2 days because of snow storms)

The first few nights home were very scary..he was so weak I would lay awake to make sure he was sleeping and jump up at every sound.  He had lost so much weight and was in bed for so long he couldn’t even stand to walk to the bathroom and I was afraid he might fall…

Each day got better and better…in a few weeks he was outside gardening and doing his everyday things.  Weeks went by and we were waiting to hear from Dana Farber which who would be doing the bone marrow transplant.  We learned that there were no complete matches for him but his brother was half.  We went to Boston thinking we were going to discuss and start the transplant but soon found out from a blood test the disease had returned.  This was a huge shock because he has been doing sooo good and got back to his normal active self.

Sooo now we are back to square one, looking to get this leukemia back into remission.  This round of chemo he is stronger and not sick to begin with.  We are crossing our fingers that there will be no complications and he will only be in the hospital for a week or so....

Wellll... that's that...It helps to write this out and kinda get it off my chest..Thank you whoever is reading..
For anyone who is battling cancer....Stay Strong and just keep swimming...