When It Rains...It Pours...

Well I am really trying not to make this blog all gloom and doom but for Pete sakes my life is just a crumbled mess right now.....Lets back track to 2 weeks ago where I left off when my Dad was going to see the doctor about his AML coming back...The news he got...wasn't good..

The doctor said there was either another Chemo treatment he could try which doesn't have high success results..or being able to stay home and get transfusions when he needed and a weekly shot to keep the leukemia side effects under control...but this would only give him about 4 months to live...

This news was devastating...  I did not go with my parents to this meeting with the doctor because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle what they were going to say...  They left the office with the doctors telling him that he could decide what he wanted to do.My dad is a fighter and chose to try the chemo but it wouldn't be ready until the following week.

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 That week was really tough for the first few days because we were all ready sad, lost, and not sure really what to do.  It helped that my Sister came home and my Aunt (Moms Sister) from Maryland came up to visit.  It was a nice distraction...

ON TOP of all this sadness...I find out that Wednesday that the company I work for is going to be closing its doors... AWESOME!  My Mom and Dad (when he wasn't sick) also work there too so this was another shock and hit to our family.  This is the source to the money my family makes and on top of all of our health insurance.  Thankfully they are not closing right away but will in a few months.   All I can think is, how can so many bad things be happening to us all at once?!  It is literally like we have a  dark cloud  above our heads.

 

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Jumping forward to this week. My Dad was admitted to the hospital Monday to start his 6 day chemo regimen.  I am trying everything I can do stay calm and strong for him.  The chemo will make his white cells bottom out to 0 so during this time he will be immune to getting any type of infection again.  Fingers crossed everything goes smoothly.  The doctor is letting him go home again after the chemo is done if there are no complications.  Tuesday we heard that the first dose of chemo killed 50% of the white cell blasts.  Which this is really good news!  Lets just hope that the chemo keeps doing its job to get this AML in remission so he can go get the bone marrow transplant.  The bad part is he got sick last night and his tummy has been upset but this is a common side effect from the chemo.

 

I visit him as much as possible and have been leaving work early to be with him longer.  I guess I got to use up my vacation and sick days before I lose them...  A lot of the time he is just falling in and out of sleep because its hard for him to sleep at night.  While he is resting I usually doodle in my sketch book.  Yesterday I grabbed the silver and gold markers I used for my DIY project and doodled on the front...

It looks kinda neat in the sunlight because the markers are metallic.

  

 

  Anyways, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel.  There HAS to be.

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 Welp, that's all for now....I am sorry these are all unhappy posts but it is what it is and this is my life right now...

 

 

If anyone is willing and able to help our family it would be greatly appreciated...since we will be also losing our jobs soon the money part is going to be even tougher than ever..

http://www.gofundme.com/joekuznik

 

'Just Keep Swimming'

 

 

Cancer Sucks!

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I apologize in advance; this is not going to be a happy post....

2 Days ago my Dad was admitted again to Oncology.  His cancer has returned....

I guess I will start off with a little history..

He was diagnosed back in 1998 with non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma.  I was honestly too young to remember what actually was going on.  I just remember visiting him in the hospital because he was sick, but since the hospital was about 2 hours away I didn’t go there often.  He received chemo twice because the lymphoma came back a few years later.  He then had a stem cell transplant and was cancer free for 14 years.

Jump forward to this past December... I remember coming down with a really bad cold that just wouldn't go away.  Soon after my mom and then dad both caught the flu too..coughing, stuffy nose, chills, common flu symptoms..  Finally, my mom and I got better but my Dads cold just kept lingering on, especially with a bad cough, chills, and fatigue...  He thought that he just needed more rest and hopefully he would get better..but it just didn't.  He grew so weak that he could hardly walk from one room to another.  I begged him to finally go to the Doctors and he did.  They took a blood sample and then told him it must just be allergies and sent him home with Allegra.  The next morning we got a call from the doctors to take him immediately to the ER because they noticed he had a very low red blood cell count and high white.  This means his body was on overload trying to fight off something.  After what it seemed like hours the ER doctor came in and said it looks like his cancer has returned.

He then got rushed down to another hospital with a cancer center 45 mins away..

It wasn't until the next morning that he called my mom from the hospital telling her the doctor said it was Leukemia (AML).  We rushed down there and they explained that it was most likely caused from the chemotherapy he’s received in the past..

How could this be?  How could curing one cancer lead to another?  It just isn't fair.

Fast forwarding a little... He received his 7 day chemo regimen and then came down with a bad case of pneumonia which landed him in the ICU for a little more than a week.  Seeing him in there with a breathing tube and on so much medicine he couldn’t even open his eyes horrified me.  At this point I was at my lowest point I have ever been in my whole life.  I remember when I would try and fall asleep at night I could feel darkness closing in around me.  I would literally wake up and feel so much pressure pushing on my head and shoulders I thought this was going to last forever…All I wanted was my Dad to come home and everything be back to normal..

After a very long 32 days we took him home…(I was at the hospital as much as I could every day except 2 days because of snow storms)

The first few nights home were very scary..he was so weak I would lay awake to make sure he was sleeping and jump up at every sound.  He had lost so much weight and was in bed for so long he couldn’t even stand to walk to the bathroom and I was afraid he might fall…

Each day got better and better…in a few weeks he was outside gardening and doing his everyday things.  Weeks went by and we were waiting to hear from Dana Farber which who would be doing the bone marrow transplant.  We learned that there were no complete matches for him but his brother was half.  We went to Boston thinking we were going to discuss and start the transplant but soon found out from a blood test the disease had returned.  This was a huge shock because he has been doing sooo good and got back to his normal active self.

Sooo now we are back to square one, looking to get this leukemia back into remission.  This round of chemo he is stronger and not sick to begin with.  We are crossing our fingers that there will be no complications and he will only be in the hospital for a week or so....

Wellll... that's that...It helps to write this out and kinda get it off my chest..Thank you whoever is reading..
For anyone who is battling cancer....Stay Strong and just keep swimming...